Oldest Member of the Middle School Cross Country Team

As I previously mentioned, my son started middle school this year and I’ve been worried about how he would be accepted in his new school, especially in this strange year where nothing is normal. What could I do to help ease the transition? The answer became clear one day when I received an email from the school recruiting kids to join the school’s cross country team. I knew what I had to do; I had to join my son’s middle school cross country team.

Now I can’t take credit for this idea. I don’t know if this email would have resonated with me or that I would have had the guts to act upon it had I not been inspired by another special needs mom I know. Her daughter is much like my son and she joined her middle school cross country team and used her legs and a jogging stroller to help her daughter participate as a member of the team. When I got the email from my son’s school looking for participants for the team, I asked if I could sign Owen up and run on his behalf. I was really worried what they might think or how they’d react. I was overjoyed when they said yes with enthusiasm and without hesitation. While I was really excited for the opportunity, I was also nervous. I couldn’t help thinking what in the hell have I gotten myself into?

I have no idea how middle school cross country works in non-pandemic years, but this year each grade had their own particular practice day to cut down on the number of kids congregating together and in-person practices were held to once a week. The kids were expected to do various other activities on their own to continue their training. During the season we had 3 “meets” where the kids competed against each other rather than with other schools. Because of scheduling conflicts, Owen and I got to compete against all three grades. I hate to say it, but I’m kind of a competitive girl and I was really worried how we’d do competing against kids much, much, much younger than myself. I’m both happy and ashamed to say that we never came in last place, not even close. I’m ashamed by this because some kids got beat my a 54-year-old pushing a 50lb kid in a stroller. I hope I didn’t permanently damage some poor kid’s self esteem.

What I learned during my time on the middle school cross country team is that middle schoolers are an interesting bunch, still childlike but with more adult-like bodies. After our first practice, I was painfully aware of the name of one of our team members because his friend must have called out his name a zillion times. Another kid bragged about how he’d gone without water all day and forgot his water bottle for practice. Apparently dehydration is cool. I also learned that the coaches have the patience of saints, and their job is much like herding cats. Getting a bunch of kids to pay attention while they gave instructions was no small feat. Then there was the new, pandemic world worry of reminding the kids to keep their distance from each other. I learned that if my son were like the other typically developing kids, he’d probably be a bit annoying at this stage of life.

Most of the kids didn’t interact with Owen and me. We got the stares from a few, but not much else. Maybe they just didn’t know quite what to make of us. A couple did interact with us though. One kid asked if Owen was “running” too, and simply said cool when I said yes. There was another kid who knew Owen from elementary school and she was kind enough to hang with us from time to time. One time she walked with us as we were cooling down after a run. During that short cool down period, she shared with us her hopes and dreams in life, such as she wanted to live alone for awhile when she is an adult, but with an animal. She also didn’t want kids. Her sister did though, so she’d be the cool aunt. She also shared how sometimes she was called mature and other times childish. Seems an appropriate way to sum up middle schoolers. I really enjoyed our conversation. It was interesting to hear how kids her age think as I don’t have the opportunity to have that conversation with Owen.

I ended the season proud of myself for giving Owen the opportunity to get out and be among his peers and doing something that made me feel a little uncomfortable. He loves people so much, and enjoys each and every moment he gets to interact with others. Although he can’t tell me so, I feel the isolation brought on by the pandemic has been hard on him. I was bummed, however, because I wasn’t sure if I’d accomplished my goal of the kids getting to know him better. Other than the encounters mentioned above, the kids didn’t interact with us much.

The season ended with a pizza party that Owen and I planned to attend. I was going to ask the coaches if I could take that opportunity to share with the kids why we chose to participate on the team and allow them the opportunity to ask any questions they might have. Unfortunately, Owen was ill that day and couldn’t attend so I didn’t get that opportunity. What I would have told them had I had the chance was the reason I chose to participate on the team with Owen was so that they would become familiar with him and perhaps say hi to him when they saw him at school. That’s all. I wanted to share with them that sometimes people are different than us, and rather than stare at them, ignore them, or fear them, say hi to them, or simply greet them with a smile. They may not be able to greet you in return, but know you probably made their day just by treating them like you would any other person you might encounter on any given day.