The Oldest Member of the Middle School Cross Country Team – Part Two

As the new school year dawned, I contemplated whether I would participate in cross country with Owen again. Prior to the beginning of the school year, we attended an open house to get acquainted with Owen’s new teacher. At the open house we ran into one of the cross country coaches who asked if we’d be participating again this year. Without hesitation, I said yes. As soon as the words flew out of my mouth, I wondered what I had just gotten myself into. After all, I was still on the fence. I had not yet mentally committed myself to this. Work has been really busy, and I was wondering if I should take the time to do this. But, it was too late; I had committed to it. There was no backing out now.

My anxiety heightened when I got the schedule. It was not going to be like last year where it really only involved a one afternoon a week commitment. This year would be more normal. There were practices four afternoons a week, and actual meets with other schools. The season, however, was only going to be a month long. I decided it was important to take the time to do this.

My reason again for doing this was to expose Owen to new experiences and to hopefully get his classmates to get to know him better. The first practices were uncomfortable, like they had been last year. The kids stared at us, probably trying to figure out why we were there. After awhile, the stares stopped, but no only really interacted with us, except for the girl who came up to us and asked us our birthdates. I thought that was odd, but I shared the information with her. She then pressed for birth years. I readily gave her Owen’s, but didn’t give up mine right away. She persisted, however, so I told her. She looked confused at first, and then proclaimed, “you’re old!” Yeah, thanks, honey, I know. But thanks for the reminder. I later determined that she had special needs as well, and remembering birthdates seemed to be her superpower, because every time she greeted me, she told me my name and birthdate. The other child who tended to interact with us was also a special needs student. I guess it’s true, birds of a feather do flock together.

If I thought practices were uncomfortable, then there were the meets. Our opportunity to get stared at by a much larger audience. I should add that I’m introverted and don’t like to be the center of attention, so all the attention was extremely uncomfortable. You would think I’d be used to this already because we always stick out in a crowd. As we stood at the start line during our first meet, I was wondering why I was doing this to myself. When we arrived at the meet, I took a picture of Owen and he had a huge smile on his face, so that alone was worth it. But, I was still regretting my decision because I was uncomfortable as hell.

And then the race started, and my feelings of regret increased. All the boys – we ran with the 8th grade boys this meet because we wouldn’t be able to get there in time for Owen’s grade – took off at lightening speed, and then there was us, plodding along at a snail’s pace; dead last, and the race had only just begun. Then there was the running on grass. Yes, I know, that is what you do in cross country, but I had been spoiled the previous year when most of our runs were on sidewalks. My old arse can still push Owen 4 miles on even terrain, but grass is a game changer. It was so hard and so tiring. About half way through the race, we encountered a kid who was walking. At last, maybe we would not come in last. Then, we passed two more kids! Yes, there was hope. Same as last year, my goal was to never finish last. We did not finish last in our first meet.

As the meets went on, I found I liked running with Owen’s grade or the 6th grade boys best because I could beat them more easily. Some gave up after the first 50 yards and then treated the race like it was a Sunday stroll through nature. At one race, there were going to awards for the best runners. One boy who was walking the course asked who would get the medal if we won. I told him Owen would, which he said was not fair because he wasn’t running. I thought to myself neither you, Owen nor I would be medaling at this event, so it was kind of a moot point, but didn’t say that out loud. After all the meets were said and done, I am proud to say I not only did we not come in last at the first meet, we didn’t come in last at any of the others meets either. Mission Accomplished!!

One of the best thing about the meets – besides never finishing last – was the support we got from spectators. People were cheering us on not because we were running fast or leading the pack, but because we were simply participating. I was so blown away by all the support we received. All the cries of “Go Greendale” were really heart warming. I ran into a co-worker at these meets who was there supporting his child. He went out of his way to cheer us on at each meet we were at together. It was especially needed at one hot, humid meet when I was having a hard time finishing the race. His cheers of encouragement were exactly what I needed to get across the finish line. Another one of the best things about the meets is that we got to participate with the friend and her daughter who inspired me to do this in the first place. It was great to be at a meet and not be the only crazy mom pushing her kid. Maybe we inspired other crazy moms and dads and there will be more of us out there in the future.

I thought we were going to end the season without having really connected with any of the kids on our team, which made me sad, but I was wrong. We did have some break throughs. While running intervals one day, one boy on our team commented that it must be hard pushing Owen, which I said it was. Then he simply said best mom ever and went on his merry way. Another time we were running with the high school team and we had to run up a very steep hill. I was reluctant to even try it because I didn’t think I’d be able to do it, but gave it a go anyway. Just as I determined that there was no way we’d make it up the hill, a girl running in front of us asked if we needed help, which I said we did. She grabbed the front of the stroller, and before I knew it, two other girls came up behind and helped us up the hill. Another girl on the high school team ran back to us to let us know there were stairs ahead on the course and asked if we’d need help navigating them. These encounters too truly warmed my heart, as you can imagine.

This year we made it to the year end pizza party and I asked if I could speak with the kids, as I had hoped to do last year, so I could explain why I was there participating with Owen. Public speaking is not my forte and makes me nervous as hell, but I just felt I needed to do it so the kids understood why it was important to me for Owen to have this experience as a member of their team. I knew I had to be short and succinct in my message as the attention span of middle schoolers is short. Anyway, I explained that Owen and I had been running together since he was a baby, and one of my reasons for doing this was because he enjoyed it and he enjoyed being around people. I also said I did it because I wanted them to become familiar with Owen. I explained that I understood that they could not be friends with Owen as they might be with other kids because of his differences; however, I asked if they could simply given Owen a hi, a wave, or a smile, whatever they felt comfortable with, the next time they encountered him at school. I also thanked those kids who had gone out of their way to be kind to us. I don’t know if what I said resonated with any of the kids, but it it causes just one kid to say hi to Owen, or any person like Owen he or she may encounter, I consider that a victory.

At the end of the pizza party, the coaches talked to be about joining the track team in spring. Looks like I may be expanding my middle school sports career.