While it can be very difficult to have a child with special needs, sometimes it can be a blessing.
In Owen’s world, everything is happiness and light. He doesn’t appear to understand the concept of death, so when people close to him have died, he was blissfully unaware of the impact of that loss. He isn’t bothered by things he hears in the news. While Covid and quarantining caused many kids much stress, Owen adapted and didn’t seem to mind missing out on his favorite activities, or worry about becoming ill. He doesn’t know anything about social media, and how cruel some of us can be to each other on those platforms. He is oblivious to much of what causes us stress and strife in our world today, and for that, I am very thankful.
A few days ago, I was reminded of why I am so grateful for this. You might have heard in the news about an SUV that plowed into a Christmas parade. We live about 30 minutes away from the affected community and know people who were there when it happened. Luckily, they were not physically harmed, but there are the mental wounds that will need to be dealt with, wounds which can be far more difficult to heal than physical wounds. Because of the way my child is, I don’t have to help him try to reconcile what has happened; but I can’t help wondering how parents will deal with that, especially those whose children witnessed the event and/or witnessed the event themselves. How do you deal with such terrible trauma?
I’m sure everyone will deal with it differently. Some may never feel comfortable going to a parade or large gathering again, or at least not in the near future. Some may be right back out there, getting back on the horse, if you will, refusing to let that terrible experience change the way they live their lives. Everyone will have their own unique way to manage their emotions with regard to the situation.
I can’t help thinking to myself what would I do or say if I had a child who understood the gravity of this situation. If your child asks you why a person would do such a thing, what do you say? That question would be difficult to answer, because there could be a myriad of reasons why someone is motivated to commit such a heinous act. Rather than try to answer the why behind the action, I would try to focus on the positives that come out of such a tragedy. I would try to impress upon him that there is more light in the world than darkness; unfortunately, however, darkness is the unruly child that gets more attention. While this one person did something that affected many lives, there were countless others who sprang into action to help the victims, from the first responders who provided medical attention, to the shopkeeper who provided shelter to people fleeing the area. And, there are now countless others looking for ways to help the victims and their families after the fact; from the football player offering to cover funeral expenses, to the average joe who is donating a few dollars, or maybe a pint of blood. I think I would try to impress upon my child that there are far more good folks in the world than those folks looking to harm us, and that’s what we should try to focus on.
I heard a news story yesterday about a local high school who was impacted by Sunday’s tragedy. They were handing out meals to kids and their families, making sure kids were fed, as the local schools were closed because of the tragedy. They interviewed a mother and daughter who were there to help pass out meals. When the mother was asked why she was there with her daughter, she stated she wanted to show her daughter how people come together after a tragedy. I thought that was a powerful message to share with her daughter, and a really positive way to look at such a dark situation.
To anyone reading this who experienced this tragedy, I wish you peace and healing in the coming days and months. Happy Thanksgiving.
I Don't Have Time for This Sh*#! 